Up at 3 am

San Diego, 2007

I was up at 3:00 again this morning. It happens about once a week. I lay in bed wondering what I’m doing with my life and having a panic attack about being 42. It only happens when I first wake up. Once I get to the computer editing or writing the anxiety is gone and I’m rational again. I have a wonderful life and am doing exactly what I want. I actually enjoy my age and my accomplishments. But, there’s fear center of with one’s brain must be in control at that hour. When I was an anchor working the early morning show I would have to get up at 3am and be absolutely gripped with irrational fear. 15 minutes later it would be gone and I could move out of the bed.