Sunday, July 25, 2010
I look forward to living another 45 years, and by then another 45 years thanks to medical advances; but even if die tomorrow, I'm not putting anyone through what I've seen in the last four years. This is the third time I am watching a family battling over a person's last wishes- even when the person is still alive!
Haven't you too heard these lines? "I know, this is not what they would have wanted" (spoken to me at an open-casket funeral)
"Yes she CAN to be buried next to her husband..."(overheard during an argument about a parent's religious affiliation)
And here's my favorite, "I don't think we are reading the right will." (Spoken BY me to an executor as we worked together updating a 20-year-old will of a sick friend).
Don't be blaming the lack of communication on your dysfunctional family.
Blame it on keeping a single copy of your out of date will sitting in a safety deposit box that only one or two people have the key too.
Mix it with the lifetime of emotions and fears that families pour out when it gets to the eleventh hour.
Behold your last years NOTHING like you had envisioned.
So here's what I have concluded. If I want to make sure any of my wishes about anything regarding my final days actually happen, I'm putting my will, my healthcare proxy, my power of attorney- all of it...on line. I'm adding it to my Facebook page and my personal website. I'm doing it now at age, 44 and I'm keeping it there forever. Anyone at anytime can know my business and then no-one at crunch time can say they are the only one's who know the real story.
And I've got news for friends and family, it won't be going viral. It's really very boring reading.